


Heights

by Noruway



Series: Phobias [1]
Category: K-pop, NCT (Band), WAYV
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Hopeful Ending, JohnTen couple goals, M/M, but JohnTen fluff, johnny being a good friend, yuta is sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:55:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24577900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Noruway/pseuds/Noruway
Summary: In which Yuta can’t understand how Johnny and Ten are so secure in their long-distance relationship, while his own is falling apart.
Relationships: Chittaphon Leechaiyapornkul | Ten/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta
Series: Phobias [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1799212
Comments: 2
Kudos: 85





	Heights

_ Do you miss Winwin? _

Yuta peers at the dining table from his spot on the couch. Johnny’s grin is blinding, and he’s laughing that unreserved giggle that only Ten can pull out of him. They’re chatting in English, but Yuta can understand most of what’s being said.

What he can’t understand is  _ how. _

How can they stand talking for hours at night, when both are exhausted to the bone, having long conversations that only shorten their time to rest? How can they smile and be happy and fucking  _ giggle  _ knowing it could be months before they see each other in person? How can their bond be just as strong as when they started dating despite being forced apart by the company?

True, Johnny and Ten have been at this for a long time, pretty much since their debut. They’re both part of NCT but they’ve never been in the same unit, and at the very beginning, making time for each other was  _ difficult  _ but not impossible. Things got harder after Ten was placed in SuperM. Everyone could tell the pair were going through a rough patch, yet even when they argued, they’d talk and resolve their issues within days, and their love never once suffered. At least, not that Yuta could see.

And then, WayV was announced. Ten was one of four members that would be joining the new group, and that meant he’d be relocating to China for an unforeseeable amount of time. Yuta expected them to fight, perhaps even break up, despite being one of the strongest couples he’s ever seen. But they seemed unphased, even  _ happy  _ with the news. Johnny cried tears of  _ joy _ as he spun Ten around in his arms, chanting  _ “I’m so proud of you, baby! You’re going to  _ shine  _ in this group, I just know it.” _

“Yuta?”

Said man blinks, snapping back to the present. Johnny’s staring at him in concern, his call with Ten apparently ended. “You alright, man?”

“Ye—“ Yuta cuts himself off, tightening his lips into a thin line around the lie he was about to spew. He decides to ask a question in lieu of a response. “How do you guys do it?”

Johnny, clearly confused, makes his way from the table to take a seat next to Yuta. He runs a big hand through Yuta’s hair, and the latter suddenly misses the shoulder-length he’d had cut not too long ago, if only for the feeling of someone’s hand brushing through the long strands.

“You and Ten. How do you… how do you  _ do  _ it?”

A smirk creeps onto the older’s lips. “I mean, cybersex is a thing, bro. Makes it better when we finally see each other, too—“

“Oh my f— that’s not what I meant, you asshole,” Yuta scowls and shoves Johnny’s shoulder. Usually, he’d appreciate the lewd joke, but right now he’s trying to be serious.

“I know, I know. You just seemed so tense,” Johnny sighs, his own laughter dying down. When Yuta looks at his eyes, they’re filled with warmth, fondness, sympathy. “I don’t know if I can even  _ begin  _ to describe what our relationship’s been like, the promises we’ve made over the years. Sometimes, I think we just got lucky with each other.

“But, if you really want to know  _ how  _ we do it, I suppose the simplest answer is love. We’ve loved each other for years, and we’ll continue to do so far beyond however long our careers last. If we didn’t have love, this wouldn’t work. Over the years, we’ve fought and cried and  _ changed _ . We’ve learned how to keep our flame burning despite the long distance. We’ve learned how to communicate instead of fight. Of course, we’re not a  _ perfect _ couple, and there are things we still have to work through. But we have all the time in the world to fix those. For now, we’re just focusing on love, because it’d be stupid to waste our limited time together on petty arguments.”

The wistful expression on Johnny’s face reflects the love struck fool he truly is.  _ Love _ . That’s his answer. But that can’t be true, because Yuta loves Sicheng, and they’re falling apart.

Yuta swallows harshly, his throat dry. He can’t help but compare his own situation to Johnny’s. 

Johnny and Ten have had time together,  _ years  _ together. Their relationship is solid, so solid that they’ve mentioned on several occasions that once their idol lives come to an end, they’ll move to America and get married. They aren’t worried or untrustworthy of each other because they’re  _ meant  _ for each other. 

Yuta and Sicheng didn’t get that chance. They only started dating four months before WayV was formed. The first time they confessed their love was one month before Sicheng was shipped off to China for God knows how long. Yuta could’ve begged his boyfriend to stay, but that would’ve been selfish. Sicheng deserved a chance to be appreciated, and he wasn’t getting that with NCT, as sad as it was.

Maybe they could’ve been okay, if they’d spoken about their situation at all. But they didn’t. Neither of them wanted to accept the fact that they’d be separated, and so they adamantly avoided the topic altogether, until the very moment Sicheng boarded the plane.

_ “It’ll be okay, Winko.” _

_ Sicheng has tears streaming down his face, sniffling quietly while Yuta dries his tears. _

_ “I’m scared.” _

_ Yuta smiles bitterly, wrapping his boyfriend in a bone-crushing hug. He pats his hair gently and ignores the wet patch growing on his shoulder. _

_ “I know you’re scared of heights, but the flight won’t be too long. You’ll be on the ground in no time.” _

_ Sicheng pulls back and connects his gaze with Yuta’s. If they could, if they weren’t in this stupid airport with stupid patrons and stupid cameras, Yuta would’ve leaned forward to press a kiss onto Sicheng’s delicate lips, or his cheek, or he could’ve leaned up to peck the man’s forehead. He settles for squeezing his hand. _

_ “Yeah. It won’t be too long.” _

A sharp jab to his abdomen makes Yuta yelp, shielding his torso from Johnny’s evil fingers. Instead of the teasing glint he expects to find in the man’s eyes, Yuta only sees softness. At times like this, he wonders if Johnny can read minds, because he seems to know exactly what’s running through Yuta’s head.

“You should call him. Talk to him.”

_ Yeah, right _ . Yuta wonders if he’d even pick up the phone. Sicheng hardly ever answers his calls, apparently too busy or tired (or fucking  _ wasted _ , according to Lucas) to be considerate of his boyfriend. The younger is so hard to get ahold of these days, and Yuta knows, he  _ knows  _ how the company treats Sicheng.

He was there when the company made him train into the early hours of the morning, or when he felt so worthless that he practiced for  _ hours  _ on end without eating or sleeping, just to perfect his lines. He was there to see the disappointment on his face whenever Taeil would completely overshadow his vocals. He was there when Sicheng refused to even move on the rare occasion they had a day off, opting instead to lie on his bed and stare at the wall. 

But Sicheng always looks so happy with WayV, his smile brighter than it had ever been when he was in Korea. Yuta wonders if he ignores him because he doesn’t need him any more.

Of course, he’s not  _ entirely  _ guilt free, either. Those first few weeks, Yuta has been so  _ sad _ , bordering on depression. Sicheng was one of his closest friends even before they started dating, and his presence being gone took a toll on him.

Sicheng actually called more often, at first. He made an effort to call everyday and, on the days he couldn’t, he’d send a lengthy text describing exactly what he did. And yet, all of it only made Yuta feel worse. Hearing his boyfriend’s sweet voice, seeing his face through a grainy webcam that did no justice to the man’s beauty, it was pure torture. So he’d make any excuse to cut their conversations short.

_ “I’m tired, Winko.” _

_ “Oh? Did you guys have a long day today? I could’ve sworn there weren’t any schedules today, though. Are you resting well?” _

No.

_ “I’m resting fine. It’s just— I just spent a while practicing on my own. Comeback’s coming up, you know?” _

_ “Ah, of course! I really can’t wait to see you in action, Yu—“ _

_ “I should really go to bed. I might pass out if I sit here any longer.” _

_ “Oh. Oh, yeah, definitely.” _

_ A pause. _

_ “Take care of yourself, Yu-prince. I love you.” _

_ “Love you.” _

Yuta leans into Johnny, allowing the latter to wrap an arm around his shoulders and card his fingers through his hair. A single tear slips past the corner of his eye.

“It hurts,” he whispers, letting his eyelids droop closed. “It hurts without him.”

Johnny hums, a sound of empathy. “I know. And it’s going to hurt for a while. But you’ll make it, as long as you both communicate.” He shifts so that Yuta’s head is settled comfortably on his shoulder. “Tell him how you feel.  _ Fight _ , if that’s what it takes. But don’t give up.”

Yuta purses his lips. “What if we talk and we can’t work things out? What if the only thing holding us together is the silence?”

“Oh, Yuta, you stupid bastard,” Johnny clicks his tongue, yet his tone betrays nothing but fondness. “Silence isn’t what’s holding your relationship together, dummy.  _ Love  _ is.”

He doesn’t remember when he falls asleep. He doesn’t think they said any more after that. When Yuta awakes the next morning, snuggled with Johnny on the couch, he makes a plan to call Sicheng that night.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this fic, even though it was a little sad ^^;
> 
> I got the idea for this at like 1am after watching a video that had clips of both Yuta and Taeil mentioning Winwin after he went off with WayV. Yuta was asked “Do you miss Winwin?” and then got a little quiet, I almost felt sad.
> 
> But what interested me was that when Taeil wasn’t asked, he mentioned how Sicheng wouldn’t answer his calls? And maybe my heart broke a little and so in a fit of sadness I wrote this drabble.
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading! I may write a sequel or maybe a fully-fledged story to go with this, idk yet
> 
> (PS I could write an actual novel about how I feel about Winwin’s treatment within SM but that’s a rant for a different time)


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